Nicola Harris (00:00.174)
to another episode of the Economy of Soul. I am Nicola Harris, your host, and I am really wanting to talk today about some practical ways that you can build safety into your business. So one of the foundational beliefs that I hold about how we build success in our businesses and in our lives is that it first needs to be rooted in safety.
And what I was noticing, actually one of the main reasons that I got trained in somatics and certified was because I was noticing that the strategies often just weren't working or they would work and then they wouldn't be able to stick for very long. We would see things like repetitive patterns happening in clients. And I noticed that so many of my conversations were rooted more around limiting beliefs.
and the things that were coming up for them that were completely personal and internal, then they were about any one strategy. So, I mean, I will sing from the rooftops for as long as I live that I love strategy. This is not a hate on for strategy in any way, or form. But what happens...
When we forget about our body, we forget about building safety, we forget about our nervous system, what ends up happening is that we're missing a giant piece of the puzzle. And I don't want anyone out there to be missing a giant piece of the puzzle. But when we begin to marry together the semantics, which is nervous system work with the strategy, we begin to create this environment, this environment that is well resourced and poised.
for the next level that you want to call in. Okay? We all want more.
Nicola Harris (02:00.128)
There isn't someone who I have met that doesn't necessarily want more money. They might. They might want more time. They might want more peace. They might want more of an exhale in their life than this feeling of constantly hustling and constantly going from thing to thing to thing to thing, feeling overwhelmed, drained, exhausted and burnt out.
So first of all, it's okay, it's okay that we want more. It's okay that we feel connected to a vision that isn't the exact circumstances that is sitting in front of us right now.
But so often we haven't quite acclimatized it in our bodies to be able to receive it.
And that's where we start to see things like self-sabotage. We allow our imposter syndrome to run the show. We hold ourselves back. We shrink. You know, there's been so many times in my life that I have wanted to achieve something. I've had a goal in mind. And every goal that we have to me is an expansion piece.
And so often I would approach this goal. I would even maybe complete it. And then I would shrink back down. And what I realized is that my body wasn't, it didn't have the capacity to hold it yet. It didn't have the capacity of safety rooted in my nervous system.
Nicola Harris (03:39.212)
And so today I just want to talk about some practical ways that you can begin to really build an environment of safety within your next level so that when you get there, you don't feel burnt out, you don't feel exhausted and you don't retract back.
because even though sometimes it does require a little bit of a dance of a relearning, sometimes it, you we have to, we have to unlearn something multiple times before it sticks. But my hope is that as you begin to build safety in your body, as you begin to build an awareness around your nervous system, that time between
Nicola Harris (04:23.99)
you hitting your goal or you getting close to your goal and being able to hold it starts to collapse.
Nicola Harris (04:33.142)
so that we can just get on with living.
our best lives, really. Because living in alignment and calling in the vision that you hold, there really truly is nothing better than that. To live from that place, to serve from that place, to get to move through the world from that place. It really is profoundly beautiful.
And all of that comes down to safety.
Nicola Harris (05:06.072)
So how do we begin to feel safe in something that feels far outside of ourselves or where we're at right now? So I want you to just take a moment, just take a breath, just connect in for a second, and I want you to think about a goal or a vision that you can feel into as sort of like the next thing for you.
It might not be the final thing, but it's the next thing. It's the level that's sort of right here that maybe is just going to require a few shifts, a devotion to the understanding of it and to follow through for making it happen. But that doesn't feel so far outside that it doesn't feel possible for you. So I want it to feel possible.
And I want you to have a felt sense that this is the next step, that this is the next level for you. So just think about that for a moment.
Nicola Harris (06:09.656)
And you may feel really excited about it. You may feel like, yeah, I can't wait to get there. I can't wait for this to be my reality. And often that is just our minds thinking because our minds can sometimes paint a vision for ourselves far quicker than our body can map it.
So I want you to just hold this in your mind and I want you to be able to drop into your body to get quiet enough to just ask, does this feel safe?
Nicola Harris (06:41.752)
And if the answer is yes, then I want you to think of something a little bit bigger, a little edgier. That might not be your next level. Your next level is mostly going to feel a little, there's going to be a little bit of tension in your body. Not an overwhelming amount of tension, but just a small amount.
Nicola Harris (07:04.044)
And once you have that, I want you to begin to connect into.
how it would feel to hold it. Not for a moment.
Not for a week, not for a month, but for this to now be a part of who you are.
Nicola Harris (07:26.284)
And as you're connecting into that, there's probably some thoughts that are coming up in terms of, is that going to require more responsibility on my behalf? Am I going to have the same amount of time that I did, that I do now? Am I going to have to show up more?
Nicola Harris (07:47.52)
Often what happens when we start to place ourselves in this version of us that's calling in this next level.
It's reminding us that all of a sudden we might need to hold more, we might need to do more, we might have more responsibility.
Nicola Harris (08:07.244)
And that is where our nervous systems become activated.
It's not the thing itself.
It's who we're gonna have to be in order to hold it.
And so building safety in who we are going to have to be to hold it is the key.
Nicola Harris (08:37.048)
So want you to begin to ask yourself.
Nicola Harris (08:42.574)
For what? What feels safe?
How can this feel safe?
How can I move beyond the barriers, the perceived barriers that I am putting on myself for this?
Nicola Harris (09:04.929)
What do those look like? What do those feel like?
Nicola Harris (09:12.418)
What purpose are they serving?
Nicola Harris (09:22.69)
And when you have those, that's when we can really begin to understand what we need to do in order to feel safe.
Nicola Harris (09:33.738)
Often I find that we truly need to understand first what is going to be required of that version.
Nicola Harris (09:45.826)
What is going to be required of that version of us? Is business going to look different? Is our schedule going to look different?
Nicola Harris (09:56.416)
It's logistics. Sometimes that our nervous system just cannot understand.
Is it a perceived fear of having to be more visible? It's a big one for so many women.
They want a larger audience. They want to put their thought leadership out. They want to teach.
They want to walk stages. And that requires eyes. Eyes on you.
And for so many women that feels really, really unsafe.
Nicola Harris (10:41.046)
And when our nervous systems feel unsafe, they hold us back, right? We get triggered. We go into that fight, flight, freeze, fawn response, sometimes interchangeably.
and we can't anchor, we don't have an anchor point of understanding because it's not familiar yet.
So what I love to do is I'm sitting on the edge of what that felt sense, that next level really is for me. I begin to connect into the version of who I need to be in terms of everything, in terms of how I'm gonna move throughout my day. What is it going to impact in my day-to-day life?
Nicola Harris (11:27.404)
Like things that are sort of tangible that your nervous system can begin to orient around.
Nicola Harris (11:37.678)
so that it doesn't feel so far off and we can begin to start concretely understanding what is true and what is not true. Because our nervous systems are built on our limiting beliefs.
Right, on the experiences past traumas.
Sometimes they're borrowed traumas, they're not even ours.
and our nervous systems are wired around that. They're holding us in a posture that is saying, no, that's unsafe because of this experience, lived or borrowed.
Nicola Harris (12:16.814)
So the more that you can concretely understand the version of who it is that you are going to be required to be to hold it. Okay? The version of you of who you are going to be, who you are required to be in order to hold it.
Nicola Harris (12:36.204)
All of a sudden, it starts to not feel so overwhelming anymore.
Nicola Harris (12:45.068)
You go, okay, I want to build a bigger audience. Perhaps that's going to require more time for me to connect with people online.
Perhaps I'm gonna have to devote more space in my schedule to writing emails every week, creating a podcast, connecting with them on a different level.
Nicola Harris (13:12.8)
all of these logistical things, your nervous system can start to orient around.
so that it makes sense, so that when you get there, it doesn't feel so conflicting and so overwhelming that it begins to flood your nervous system and push you back into a posture that felt more safe.
Nicola Harris (13:40.834)
But very rarely do we check in with our safety. And not safety in terms of physical safety, although of course that's paramountly important to be an environment where you feel physically safe.
Nicola Harris (13:59.766)
And I know for many, many women that that is not the case.
Nicola Harris (14:07.042)
but what feels emotionally safe, what people in your life feel safe.
Nicola Harris (14:15.65)
and what comes up for you when you don't.
Nicola Harris (14:21.326)
Is there a felt sensation? Is there a feeling, a knowing, a nudge?
that's offered to you.
Nicola Harris (14:31.992)
when safety has not been established. And so if you can begin to understand these cues that your body is providing.
both in your daily life and also in your business.
For a lot of my clients, sending large invoices feels very, very unsafe.
Nicola Harris (14:59.062)
I had one client once who just avoided sending invoices at all.
Nicola Harris (15:07.65)
because that felt so unsafe to their nervous system to be receiving that amount of money for their services.
So they just avoided it altogether.
Nicola Harris (15:24.75)
So we had to understand some of those cues that were coming up for her in terms of why, why is that showing up? Why is the repetitive pattern that you avoid sending out invoices because you don't actually want to charge that.
Nicola Harris (15:45.966)
So beginning to connect into this idea of safety in your business is where you're gonna be able to lead yourself into that next level, whether that's income, whether that's time, whether that's space, joy, peace, all of it. It can be all of it.
You will then start to have a clear understanding of where those edges really exist for you so that you can start to build them in.
So the first way is really to get clear on what feels safe, what doesn't feel safe. Get into your body, understand what those awarenesses are bringing up for you. Those cues, those prompts, your nervous system sensations. Just really start to develop a relationship with them.
Another way that can be very practical is putting systems in place in your business that support
who it is that you want to become. The version, the expansion of what it is that you want to call in. So let's say you want to double the amount of clients that you're currently seeing. Whether you see one-to-one or whether you are in a one-to-many or a variation of many different things. If you want to welcome in more clients, your systems need to be able to support that many clients.
Nicola Harris (17:20.066)
And this is where a lot of business owners get hung up, is that we are so reactive to the things that are happening around us that we don't build the systems until it's a little too late.
Nicola Harris (17:36.79)
Operations management has been something that's been in my wheelhouse for many, years. Processes, policies, understanding the relationship to how we are operationally building a business and then the rate at which we can grow.
Most of my career I've been in that space. Strategically aligning businesses, helping them grow, helping them identify the gaps as to why it is that they're not. And I used many different modalities to be able to identify that.
Nicola Harris (18:17.56)
but your systems, your systems are key. And nothing is going to tell your nervous system that you are safe more than having a very dialed in.
system in place.
Nicola Harris (18:37.038)
So whether that is from scheduling, payment systems, so that you're not going back and forth. Scheduling is just one of the easiest things to be able to automate, and so many of us don't. And we go back and forth and going, does this time work for you? Does this time work for you? And it eats up so much time and space, and plus it's annoying for both parties, you and the person who's trying to get scheduled in with you.
Nicola Harris (19:11.926)
And so having just these simple things laid out to match the business that you are building, to match the version of you that you are becoming, to match the expansion, that next level, the goals that you have laid out for the next three to six months.
Having your systems in place are going to be so important to creating a safety net in your nervous system.
Nicola Harris (19:47.81)
because they signal to your body that you are ready to receive.
And so instead of, as you're conceptualizing who this version of you that it's going to be required of you once you get there, instead of going, my gosh, I don't have any more time to dedicate to scheduling. I don't have any more time to manage these clients. So how on earth is that going to feel safe to scale? It just won't. But if you've set up a system to say, wow, my clients are going to get served.
They're gonna get served on their journey because I've got this system put in place.
that is gonna signal to your body that it's okay to welcome in more clients.
Nicola Harris (20:42.624)
It's okay to welcome in more clients because more clients doesn't necessarily mean more work or more time if you have the right system in place.
Nicola Harris (20:59.64)
So systems are so important and if you're struggling with system management, if you're struggling with like, how do I even build systems, please drop me a DM so that we can talk about the issue that you're having because there's always a solution. There's always a solution and I absolutely hope that I can help you sort that out because I have been a large part of
the work that I've done has gone into underperforming business units, businesses, you know, and sometimes these businesses are multi-seven figure and one of the first places we look at is their systems. And I can tell you that so many of them have nothing put in place and the business is pure chaos.
Are they making money? Yes. Do they have a team? Absolutely. Does it feel calm and grounded? No way.
Nicola Harris (22:10.444)
And this is really because...
they haven't dedicated the time before it was really too late. And so, so much of that time I spend cleaning up and trying to get them on track while they're growing. But if you can hit that before you start to grow, you develop the safety net underneath you that indicates to your body, it sends a clear message to your body, growth is safe. Growth is safe.
because I'm ready.
Nicola Harris (22:48.622)
So the third way is to really look at how can you expand intentionally. And this is something that I talk about a lot with clients because
We've sort of been fed this narrative and this idea that...
We're supposed to just double our income in three months and grow at such a rapid rate. like, know, zero to six figures in 90 days. Like there's just a lot of that noise out there. And I think it's very harmful, to be honest. I think it's not helpful for any of us who are trying to build sustainable long-term businesses. And a lot of those people.
can't hold that level of growth because they haven't done the work to prepare themselves. Their nervous systems are not poised, they're not resourced, they are hustling, they are overwhelmed and it's gonna burn them out. So expanding intentionally is hard because we've not been taught this. So instead of saying,
I want to triple my income in three months. The idea is instead to just lean into, well, what would be the next level that would feel like I'm growing? Maybe that's adding a 10 % increase. Maybe you're adding 10 % more clients, but you're doing it in a way that's thoughtful and intentional to allow your nervous system to time to catch up that once you get there,
Nicola Harris (24:35.406)
you're noticing that you're feeling safe and grounded and it's not chaos. You're not burnt out. You're not hustling 24 seven.
And that's how we begin to build businesses that serve us instead of us serving our businesses, which is absolutely backwards.
So don't, you know, if you're not doubling your income, tripling your income in 60 days, you're not doing anything wrong. In fact, I actually think you're doing it right, but it just gives you time. And time is gonna give you proof. It's gonna give you evidence. And your nervous system loves evidence. Your nervous system thrives on evidence.
Right? Like just like, you know, our nervous system has thrived on the evidence that it's unsafe. And it also thrives on the evidence that it is safe.
So it really should feel good in your body as you expand. And because you've already had this co-creation with the version of who it is that is going to be required of you once you get there, you already have that understanding, and you're building the systems to support it, guess what? When you start incrementally increasing and growing, it's going to feel really, really good.
Nicola Harris (26:03.542)
Another way is to really rewire your receiving narrative and you know, receiving is a tricky, we'll have a whole podcast dedicated just to receiving because particularly as women, this is something I see not only in myself, but in a lot of women over and over and over again is that we struggle. We struggle with receiving what it is that we desire and beginning to rewire that work.
rewiring sort of that posture that we hold in our nervous systems requires devotion and understanding that we receive in a million different ways every single day.
There are so many ways that we receive and creating a connection to safety in receiving and no longer being hyper independent, that absolutely is my number one edge. So this is coming from a very lived experience of working with how I receive and how I develop safety in other people being there for me.
but beginning to really rewire that. And that can be as simple as.
really just understanding like what feels uncomfortable for you in receiving.
Nicola Harris (27:29.858)
You know, my client who struggled with sending out invoices really struggled with receiving money. Some people really struggle with receiving support or help.
Some people struggle in receiving compliments. Gosh, how many women are like, yeah, no big deal. Instead of just saying thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. And so getting into the practice of receiving, and I actively go through periods where I'm like, I'm just gonna work on my receiving. Whether it's a coffee I get from a friend or a little phone call, or maybe it's some support from,
You know, one of the moms in my village, which I need to lean on regularly now. You know, it's, I say thank you. stop and I go into gratitude around receiving that.
so that it feels intentional, so that I go, okay, I'm currently receiving this, because sometimes it just, you you don't even notice it, but beginning to intentionally notice it will start to rewire your ability to receive.
I talked a little bit about visibility, creating your capacity for visibility.
Nicola Harris (28:54.456)
being seen by more people because most likely your growth is either going to be attached to charging more or having more clients. And the way in which you break that down is in your business model, whether that is again, one-to-one, whether that's one-to-many, whether that is, you know, products that you sell.
Nicola Harris (29:23.554)
but most likely visibility is going to be a part of that. And getting comfortable with being seen.
both physically and emotionally.
Nicola Harris (29:39.874)
That's, it's an edge that is going to, again, signal, it's gonna provide evidence.
Nicola Harris (29:51.832)
that it's okay to be seen. There's no danger here, right? So many of us are still wired around this notion that we're gonna be judged, disliked, we're gonna get kicked out of the tribe, right? From like our good old caveman days.
Nicola Harris (30:11.832)
that if we were.
banished that would most likely equal death.
And so our nervous systems are still wired to that if you can believe it. So understanding that our capacity for visibility is going to be attached to our growth, you can begin to look at how it is, again, that it feels unsafe for you to be visible.
but you can anchor into your mission, your vision, the impact you desire to make in this world. Like two years ago, I'll be really honest, I was struggling with visibility in, as like one of my core edges that I knew I needed to work beyond because I had an impact. had a vision that I, of the work that I wanted to do in this world and what was nudging me. And even the idea.
of posting on Instagram with like the hundred followers that I had at the time.
Nicola Harris (31:22.06)
I got completely flooded. I got completely flooded in like, can I do this? Can I show up like this? What are people gonna say?
and I had to work through that fear. I had to work through the fear of being judged and the fear of the things that people might say about me or my family.
And I had to just do it anyways. And it seems like such a low-stake way of pushing past that, that edge. You know, it almost seems funny at this point because now here I am. I talk on stages. I have a podcast. I regularly post. And although I don't love getting on there and talking, still, I know that visibility, being seen by more people is a
clear.
clear way in which I grow.
Nicola Harris (32:23.34)
And so really welcoming that in, building safety within that. And again, the evidence just became there as I started to do it. I went, okay, wait a minute. I'm actually having really great conversations. I'm actually feeling like I can talk about the things that I've always wanted to talk about without being worried. And that provided the evidence back to my nervous system going, it's okay.
It's okay to be visible in who you are in the deepest ways.
Nicola Harris (32:58.422)
And now being vulnerable and leaning on those edges just doesn't feel like a stretch anymore.
Nicola Harris (33:06.872)
But really being seen will continue to be an important part of any expansion in your business.
And the last thing we're going to talk about today is to schedule rest. I know this one feels so hard. So many of my clients come to me just feeling completely exhausted, completely exhausted. And it's.
It's not really okay that we feel like this as a society. You know, it's like when, when did we...
When did we decide that this is just gonna be the way that we live?
Nicola Harris (34:00.502)
and one of the capacity pieces of growing, of growth, and of receiving more.
I believe is learning that you're not going to get exhausted when you arrive there. Because your nervous system has built evidence that the more I do, the more I work, the more I take on, the more projects I have, the more I'm exhausted. And so that's sort of where your nervous system is going, wait a minute, we don't want to be exhausted. We want to be thriving.
So why I'm gonna keep you from growing because I don't want you to be exhausted. I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna kick up my old patterning to ensure that I keep you safe from being more exhausted than you are right now.
So that's why I really believe that you need to rest while you're expanding and not afterwards. So rest isn't the reward.
Rest isn't the reward.
Nicola Harris (35:07.712)
Rest is part of how you get the reward.
Nicola Harris (35:15.288)
Like, you need to schedule pauses. Just little points in your schedule where you go, I'm just gonna rest.
And I'll be the first to tell you that this was hard. This was hard. I was someone who did not sit still. I felt lazy. I felt unproductive. My worth was tied completely to my productivity.
Nicola Harris (35:39.618)
And so it was hard. was, it felt so uncomfortable.
going on a journey of developing safety and rest. But now that I've arrived, wow.
It's completely different.
Nicola Harris (36:01.825)
And so you'll start to see you're gonna start providing your nervous system with evidence now. Not after you've arrived, but now. That nothing falls apart when you step away just for a moment.
Nicola Harris (36:18.264)
You don't have to blow off work for a week. You can just take these micro breaks. Maybe you're to say, you know what? The last 45 minutes before I have to go pick up kids, I am just going to sit. I'm not going to scroll. I'm not going to. I'm just going to rest for a moment and maybe read, maybe read a magazine. I'm just going to go lay outside and get some sun on my face. Or maybe I'm going to walk barefoot in my grass and ground.
But not gonna clean, I'm not gonna respond, I'm not gonna scroll. I'm just gonna allow myself the space. And maybe you do that once a week to start, then maybe twice a week. I can guarantee you right now that taking 45 minutes to yourself to rest is not.
It's not going to, nothing bad is going to happen. Nothing is going to fall apart. No one is going to die.
And the thing is, is that when we begin to partake, when we begin a practice of restorative rest, what ends up happening is that you have way more energy. You have way more energy for the things that light you up, for the things that you need to get done, for the things that are, you know, sitting on your to-do list.
Nicola Harris (37:35.842)
But rest, it's like when we go into that practice, when we allow ourselves, when we work with the edges that are holding us against resting, whether that's a narrative, my narrative was definitely that I was lazy if I took any time to rest.
Nicola Harris (37:58.112)
or that you did what I do, what I did, and that was, say, the only way I'm really worth anything is by how much I produce.
you'll start to bump up against those. And in those moments of rest, you can say, it's okay, it's safe here.
Nicola Harris (38:20.408)
But rest is such a key component to developing safety. Because if we are hyper vigilant all the time, I am telling you there is no safety in your body.
Nicola Harris (38:38.188)
And when there's no safety in our body, we really are walking around heightened, elevated. Our nervous system is turned on all the time going, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. And that's not how we want to live. It's not how it's not where we thrive. It's not where our business thrives. It's coming back into this place of safety, into this understanding within our body that goes, okay, here.
here feels.
Nicola Harris (39:13.314)
And that is what I want for every single one of you. So if you have any questions about any of the ways that we can begin to develop safety, I really encourage you to DM me. love having these conversations. Or if you have other ways.
that you utilize, I'd love for you to drop them over to me and I can share them as well because I think that, you know, creating a community of women who feel safe and alive, juicy and nourished and resourced like that, that's a good place to be. So have a beautiful week everyone and we will see you again next week.
